Survival Guide – Coping with the Scars of Infidelity

Generally, there are two cases in coping with infidelity. First is if your coping with infidelity BUT you’re still married with your partner after the issue. Second is if you are coping with infidelity AFTER divorcing you’re partner. In both cases, it is more painful if the third party is still in the picture.

            Scars left by wounds that run deep are very hard to forget because they are permanently left there for you to see. But it is possible that you CAN move on and ignore it. Difficult, but not impossible; it is actually possible is you patiently work on it to make it happen. Forgetting what happened and moving on isn’t as easy as ABC, it takes time, and time heals. But time needs patience and perseverance. You have to desire to forget because if you don’t desire to move on, you’ll remain bitter for the rest of your waking life.


            You may be feeling the pain and betrayal for a while now and all you’re friend keeps telling you the same thing all over again. And of course, you find it hard to listen to them because you have the mentality that “They don’t understand how I really feel…They’re not the ones who got hurt…They’re husbands/wives are still sleeping next to them every night…”

            Is that your mindset right now?

            Now, all your friends really want is for you to be happy again. It may sound corny or cliché, but they just want to help you out. How can you move on without help, and how can you be helped if you decline it? If you really want to move on and put the past behind you, then you have to swallow your pride and accept help. A man isn’t an island. A man can’t save himself if he is drowning.

            So let others help you…and let yourself be helped. Will you throw away free food once it is given to you? All you have to do is eat it! Are you that proud to look at free food in the mouth and say “No”?


          What if that annoying third party is still waiting in the wings for your partner to leave you and choose them? Don’t let it happen. Don’t let that lover get his or her happy ending because THEY don’t deserve it. They’re nothing more than adulterers. They seek to satisfy their flesh and wants without considering the needs of others. As much as possible, don’t let them be the reason of ruining your marriage and putting your family into a great shame. Be strong!! Will you really let the evil villainous witch get his or her happy ending while knowing that you and your prince should be the one living happily ever after?

            Don’t forget. You and your partner loves each other so much that you both decided to get married! That’s a big milestone in life; do you really want to ruin it because some stealer won’t leave you guys alone? No, that lover is not the issue. Don’t let them tear apart something special that could last forever.


          Now, if the lover of your spouse was smart and reasonable enough to leave both of you alone and that he or she was selfless enough to stay away from your partner, then embrace it!! Don’t stay bitter and keep remembering that lover of yours. If you keep on remember and recalling what that lover did to you, then you really won’t move on!! You’ll be letting that past follow you like a shadow.

            If the third party has left, then that gives you room in figuring out how to get your marriage back on track. Instead of thinking of what the third party did in your lives or what your spouse did with his or her lover, you should be thinking of ways to get your marriage back to solid ground.

            The issue is no longer the infidelity scheme, but the mission to save your marriage before it’s too late.


          After all these are said done, it all comes down with your decisions. If you choose to fight for your marriage and save it, then congratulations! You’re on the right track. But if you choose to stay bitter and continue moping about doing nothing to solve the problem, then don’t blame your spouse nor your friends. You have the power in you to still fix what can be fixed. If you at least tried to fix yet it remained broken, then you are at least comforted with the fact that you made an effort to try. But if you did absolutely nothing but remain sad and sulky, then you have no one to blame but yourself.

            In the end, life is not a series of chances but a series of choices…And you are the product of the choices you make.

Source by Jamie Starr

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